7 Ways to Tell Your Cat “I Love You”

Posted on March 4, 2025

Cats have their unique language of love—one that’s very different from how humans express affection. While we may be tempted to shower them with hugs and kisses, cats prefer subtler, more respectful gestures. Understanding their way of communicating love not only strengthens your bond but also makes them feel safe and happy.

Research has shown that cats form deep emotional bonds with their humans (Vitale et al., 2019), but the key to earning their trust is to speak their language. Here are seven scientifically backed ways to show your cat love in a way they truly understand!

1. The Slow Blink: The Cat “I Love You”

One of the most well-known ways to tell your cat you love them is the slow blink. According to a 2020 study from the University of Sussex, cats are more likely to approach and interact with humans who slow blink at them.

How to do it:

• Look at your cat with soft, relaxed eyes.
• Slowly close your eyes, pause for a moment, and gently open them.
• If your cat returns the blink—congratulations! That’s a “cat I love you” right back at you.

Why it works:

• In the wild, closing their eyes is a sign of trust and vulnerability.
• A direct stare can be intimidating, but a slow blink signals calmness and affection.

2. The “How Ya Doin’” Head Nod

Ever noticed your cat giving you a little nod or tilt of their head when they see you? That’s their version of saying, “Hey, I see you!” You can return the favour by mimicking the motion.

How to do it:

• When your cat looks at you, give a slow nod or tilt your head slightly.
• This acknowledges their presence and makes them feel seen without overwhelming them with direct eye contact.

Why it works:

• Cats communicate through body language, and small movements show you’re paying attention to them.
• This gesture mimics their subtle ways of greeting other friendly cats.

3. The Bow: A Gesture of Respect

In cat language, lowering your head is a sign of trust and affection. The bow is a gentle way to tell your cat you love them without overwhelming them.

How to do it:

• Gently lower your head when making eye contact with your cat.
• Think of it as a relaxed head dip, not a full-body movement.
• Combine it with a slow blink for an extra strong “I love you” message!

Why it works:

• Lowering your posture makes you seem less intimidating.
• Mimics cat behaviour—cats often lower their heads when greeting trusted humans or fellow cats.

4. The Three-Step Handshake: Asking for Permission to Pet

Many people try to pet a cat without asking for permission, which can make them uncomfortable. A cat-friendly greeting respects their space and ensures they’re receptive before you reach out.

How to do it:

1. Start with a slow blink or a “how ya doin'” nod.
2. Offer your scent—hold out something with your scent, like your hand or a piece of fabric. Let them investigate.
3. Present your hand—extend a finger like a cat’s nose, letting them approach and initiate contact.

Why it works:

• In the wild, cats greet each other by touching noses.
• Studies suggest cats prefer low-intensity social interactions—letting them initiate touch builds trust and comfort.

5. The Finger Nose: The Ultimate Greeting

Cats often greet each other nose-to-nose, and you can mimic this behaviour to bond with them. Since our noses aren’t as accessible, we can substitute a finger.

How to do it:

• Extend one finger toward your cat’s nose.
• Let them sniff it—this mimics a friendly feline greeting.
• If they rub their cheek or forehead against your finger, that’s a sign of affection!

Why it works:

• Cats rely on scent to identify friends.
• Rubbing against you marks you with their scent, reinforcing the bond.

6. Respecting Their Space: Love on Their Terms

One of the biggest ways to show love to your cat is to respect their boundaries. Unlike dogs, cats prefer to control interactions. If you let them come to you instead of forcing attention, they’ll trust you more.

How to do it:

• Let your cat decide when they want to be pet or picked up.
• Avoid hovering or chasing them for affection.
• If your cat moves away, don’t take it personally—give them time to come back when they’re ready.

Why it works:

• Studies show cats form secure attachments to their humans, but forcing interactions can make them more anxious and withdrawn.

7. Playtime: The Love Language of Hunting

For cats, play is love! Since they are natural hunters, engaging them in interactive play strengthens your bond while also fulfilling their instinctual needs.

How to do it:

• Use a wand toy to mimic prey movement.
• Let your cat “hunt” and catch the toy to build confidence.
• Rotate toys regularly to keep things exciting.

Why it works:

• Cats are predators by nature, and play helps them relieve stress and stay active.
• Studies show that playtime improves a cat’s overall well-being and reduces behavioral issues.

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Final Thoughts: Love on Their Terms

Loving a cat isn’t about forcing affection—it’s about understanding their language and respecting their instincts. When you slow blink at your cat, let them initiate touch, and engage in play, you’re telling them you love them in a way that makes sense to them.

A true expression of love for your cat is saying, “I will communicate on your terms.” Whether it’s the slow blink, the head bow, the three-step handshake, or a playful session with their favourite toy, every small gesture strengthens your connection.

So go ahead—blink a little, nod a little, and let your cat know how much you love them in a language they understand. 

References:

• Vitale, K. R., Behnke, A. C., & Udell, M. A. (2019). Attachment bonds between domestic cats and humans. Current Biology, 29(18), R864-R865.
• Humphrey, T., Proops, L., Forman, J., Spooner, R., & McComb, K. (2020). The role of slow blinking in cat-human communication. Scientific Reports, 10(1), 16503.